Stories Made Simple: Speak from the Kitchen Table
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[00:00:00] I think we make storytelling a little too complicated. You're told to write a script or maybe share the story that you don't wanna tell, but here's the problem. If you can't share your t- story at a kitchen table, like if you're not ready for that, how do you expect to ever be able to tell it in front of a camera or on a stage or on the page and, and actually feel good about sharing it?
[00:00:25] We're gonna talk about how you can start pulling your stories out of thin air, the ones that actually connect with other human beings without overthinking or feeling like you don't sound like yourself
[00:00:37] i'm Karen Wilson, founder of Creative Life in Motion, and the host of the Creative Life in Motion podcast. Welcome back, my friend. I have spent years in several different industries in sales, and most of the time the connecting happens through little stories. But they're not the types of stories that w- you know, are kinda mainstream right now,
[00:01:02] if you can't find your voice in the small moments, you're never gonna become confident in the big ones . so let's start by kind of talking about why the traditional storytelling methods that you might find online or mentors are teaching might actually be keeping you stuck, and what to do instead, or what I do instead
[00:01:23] Let's talk about first, like it's a, a lot of times it's called in the marketing world the brand story or the story of, um, where there's a template to follow.
[00:01:34] Maybe it's like the infomercial story where, you know, you, you talk about where you were and then you have this great transformation, and that's why you created fill in the blank. So you'll need this if you have any type of offer to offer. Maybe you have a YouTube channel you want people to watch. Maybe you have a service that you want people to have.
[00:01:57] Maybe you have a physical product that you want people to buy. And usually we have these stories, we have a reason why we want to tell a story or why we want to craft a story. So the first template that often comes up is that specific strategic marketing template. I mean, you could, you could put this into ChatGPT and they could walk you through all the steps of creating that brand story.
[00:02:25] But here's the problem. Once you get that story out of your head and you get it written onto the page and you're using all the jargon and the formula that they tell you to use and some gurus get, get you to use, y- it comes from the page and you're trying to say it out of your mouth and none of it matches.
[00:02:45] You would never say words like that. You would never talk in a way like that at your kitchen table. And you know what happens when, you know, that, that beautiful thing when say you're, um, in a grocery store lineup and you have all of your groceries on the conveyor belt, and the person behind you says, "Oh.
[00:03:06] Oh, you're, you're using that almond milk. Um, do, do you like it?" And you turn around and you tell a story about how you don't really like it, but my son, my son will drink it, and, and it's the only thing that I can get him to mix his protein shakes with. I don't know. You have some sort of story. I'm just pulling that out of a fictional character.
[00:03:33] And immediately, the person behind you or in front of you decides that they're going to get it, too. And it's not because of anything other than you have a story that they can relate to, right? And it's simple, and you're pulling it out of the air, and you're ... and it's coming out of your mo- mouth naturally.
[00:03:54] So how do you get, you know, that using the template? Like, I love me a good template, right? Because it, it makes sure that you have all the beats and all the points to, to tell a great story and keep people engaged and keep people watching and, and help guide you in having a purpose behind your story, and I think that's all important.
[00:04:20] But it's also important to practice it off the page, because it's gonna feel different on the page and, and it's gonna feel different l- like, on a screen, on a landing page, or on a, a blog post. It's gonna feel different in your body coming out of it. And if it doesn't feel like your genuine words, the person across from you is gonna be like, " Now, who did, who did, uh, she just turn into?"
[00:04:50] Now, if we're in person, right, you can, like, autocorrect, because you see the energy of someone else. But when we're on video, you can't autocorrect, 'cause I mean, right now I'm, I'm on video on this podcast on YouTube, and I, I'm looking at a little dot on my computer. Uh, so I, I know you're there, right? I know you're there, 'cause I'm thinking of one person.
[00:05:23] But I can't look at you and see and feel your energy if I need to, like, autocorrect my story because it's not landing or have, um, a question being asked. So it's really important to be able to know how that story feels in your body
[00:05:45] I wanna talk about the second thing that is very, very popular when it comes to storytelling, is the advice to tell the story that you don't wanna tell I have mixed feelings about that.
[00:05:56] I think, yes, it's important. If you have a story brewing in you that you feel called to tell in some way, shape, or form, but you don't want to tell it, it's not the story to start with. Please do not start there. I'm not saying avoid it at all costs. I'm saying, you know, there has to be the healing in it.
[00:06:21] You cannot be... go out and be vulnerable if you have not healed from that story yet. Now, there are several different ways, pathways that you can, you can go around it and, and work around it, and find other stories in your life that have the same theme of courage. You have to be healed. You have to have ownership in playing in that story before it's ready to be told to the world, because here's my belief.
[00:06:51] Once it comes out of your lips or out of your hand or published into the world, it's no longer your story. It doesn't belong to you anymore. It belongs to them, the reader, right? We have to understand that when we share stories that we have not healed from, unless it's in the right environment, like with somebody that is, you know, ready to receive that story, knows that you're working through some pain, maybe some trauma, it's not ready for a public forum.
[00:07:33] This is a really sensitive topic because I personally believe, it's my personal experience, that it has great value to work through it anyways, to write it all down anyways, because sometimes you just need to get that story out of your body to unclog the drain for the other things that need to come out.
[00:07:55] Sometimes it'll, it'll be stuck. Now, there are other little stories that, um, maybe you don't wanna tell that are a little controversial, that are a little easier to tell, and sometimes there's ways to tell them that doesn't, like, throw you or anybody else under the bus
[00:08:15] When I started doing workshops on story work and I was ... I would talk to people and they'd ask me what I'm doing, and the first thing that they'd say was, "Oh, that's really hard. I don- I don't wanna go back there.
[00:08:26] I don't, I don't wanna, I don't wanna think about the past." And it doesn't have to be hard, you know, especially when you're looking for stories that connect. So when I'm working one-to-one with people, we first start to go with, with the easier stories, the everyday life,
[00:08:45] The first thing that we do is we strip away all the marketing language and we talk about like what makes you you. We go back to memory banks and we start to uncork these hidden gems that are way more connecting than anything that is very difficult or catastrophic. A lot of times people cannot connect with that.
[00:09:14] And so if you're looking for better ways to communicate your message, better ways to connect and attract in whatever it is that you're doing, the everyday stories are a much easier pathway. Sometimes we have to remember that, you know, where there is light, there is darkness and it walks side by side. Our stories are a collection of who we are today, things that have happened to us, things that we've had ownership for, things that we have mistakes.
[00:09:52] I think the best way to think about story is the fact that there are certain events of lived experience in your life that lined up to, you know, who you are today. And the more and more I work with people on this, the more and more we are able to, like, pull out almost like life themes. And the life themes are held in the bright stories and in the dark stories, and in everything in between.
[00:10:19] So the best story to start with is the one that you're ready, like I said in the first point, to share at a kitchen table, share at a party, share at an event, without telling them that you're sharing a story, and just kinda lay back and, and, and let it land, and see what the reactions are. Because as I said, once it comes out of your mouth, it's, it's now a co-creation.
[00:10:46] Different people are gonna perceive different things from the story than what you might think that they're going to perceive. It's no longer yours. It's theirs. They get to find themselves in the story and relate
[00:11:03] You don't have to tell everything to be vulnerable. That's another total myth
[00:11:09] We already touched on this part, and I think that the beauty in this one is really about finding the beauty in the mundane pieces of life. And I like to do this in a way of, of just documenting little stories throughout the day, you know?
[00:11:29] And, and I don't do it every day. Usually it's done on my voice note. I think of a topic, I think of something. It, it doesn't even, like, come to me, but there are little stories happening just in your everyday life that everybody is feeling in their everyday life. So think about, you know, your, your commute to work this morning.
[00:11:50] There's probably a story in there. All you need to find is a little bit of conflict. This would happen to me when I worked at Shoppers all the time, right? I have this route to drive to work, and it is always, always taking me seven minutes, no matter what.
[00:12:08] I, I finish doing my hair, I jump in my car, the commute is seven minutes. This one morning, I'm feeling, like, really spry. I have two minutes to spare. I'm like, "I'm gonna be at work early." I get to the first stop sign, and there's someone walking across. Now, I have to wait for the pedestrian. I get to the second stop sign, and there's a truck, a semi-truck, and it's tur- trying to turn in front of me.
[00:12:42] I get to the third stop sign, another pedestrian. What is the deal with this day? And then I get to work and I'm late, and my manager turns to me and says, "You have a time management problem." Now, I don't need to go on and on and on about this story. It's what I like to call a story seed. So this is something
[00:13:06] We've all been late. We ... Like, and, and the best part about finding these little stories in the mundane is it's usually something that you get to admit that you've, you've been wrong. You- you're, you're making a mistake. And when we connect with other people, we usually want to connect with, with their mistakes, with their little things, with their humors.
[00:13:30] And finding humor in the everyday, that's what we connect with. Think about comedians, right? The really good ones that get on stage, and they're, they're storytelling. They're talking about regular stuff, and they have you laughing. Now, how can you bring stories from your everyday life And have them be connecting, whether that's for your business, for your videos, for your copy, for your posts on Instagram and Facebook.
[00:14:02] And we don't have to get deep into these, you know, template style, um, everything has to have a call to action or tell people like the resolution of the story. Let them figure it out for once. And that's how you actually connect is to be relatable, not to be a salesable. I, here I go, you know, making new words up as I go all the time.
[00:14:34] This brings me to my very last point and then I'm gonna hang up the mic for the day.
[00:14:39] I like to follow frameworks over templates. And in a framework, you're basically doing just that. You're, you're framing how you're going to get these stories out of your body. Are you gonna first gonna write it? Are you first gonna say it into voice notes and then just kind of, you know, bullet it out and, and, and get the facts out?
[00:15:03] How are you going to do it? And then practicing the skill. A story feels different in everything, and I've, I've done all three. Like, I've, I've written stories for books. I've done oral stories. I've did my one-woman show, play, memoir style, comedy, whatever you wanna call it. And it feels different, and it looks different in every single format.
[00:15:31] So once you get to practice how it feels coming out of your body, then it just comes natural I didn't understand for so long how it was that I would, you know, really connect with people in all the various industries that I did. You know, it started at Dairy Queen, and I became the cake decorator and the supervisor.
[00:15:54] And then, um, and then I was a meat truck delivery driver. I worked at Sears in the shoe department. I did, um, cosmetics for a decade. I taught fitness instructors. And do you know what the common thread was? Was that there would always be little stories instead of talking and listing, like, the benefits and the features and the, you know, doing all the jargon or whatever.
[00:16:22] Uh, or telling people, like, "You gotta buy this because this is what you need." Nobody likes to be told what they need. They wanna connect. They wanna feel the same things that you feel. So stop overthinking when it comes to telling stories. Stop thinking you have to go somewhere and have something be super dramatic or that you're not interesting.
[00:16:53] You are very interesting. If you have a heartbeat, you are super-duper interesting . Okay? Guaranteed in that.
[00:17:01] If you're tired of overthinking every word you say, every story you share, or are you wondering which one to start with, then it's probably time for a clarity conversation. I don't have many spots open for this, but you can, um, check it out down below where you are listening or watching this podcast
[00:17:24] We're going to cut through the noise and find the stories that are easiest for you, the lowest hanging fruit. And that's always the best place to start.
[00:17:36] If you start with the tough ones, I think that that's a really great thing to do on the side, and there's also another container for that that we can walk through. But if you're doing this because you wanna start connecting with people right away and upping your communication, like taking your idea and putting it in front of people in a way that they understand it, then let's, let's start talking about where, where to find these.
[00:18:08] Thanks for tuning into the Creative Life in Motion show. I really appreciate you hanging out with me, and as always, I love to leave you with something that you can contemplate on and ask yourself questions of self-awareness, deepen the layer of the story with you as you walk the life of your creative life in motion.
[00:18:29] We all live a creative life in some way, shape, form, or being, and it's about continuing to practice that as life goes on. It's never a one and done. So without further ado, I will see you in the next episode.
