Kim Costamp4
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[00:00:00] So I was like, "I'm gonna live my best life even though I just told Oprah no." If you've ever looked around your home and thought, "This isn't me anymore," you're definitely not alone. Today's guest, Kim Costa, won an essay contest on the Oprah Show, but when it came time for the camera to come to her home, she sent everybody away. We're gonna talk about that. Here on the Creative Life in Motion show, we don't wait until we reach our goals to be happy. We fall in love with who we are being on the way.
[00:00:34] If you can, take us back to that moment. Mm-hmm. Um, what, what was the first thing, like, that you thought of when, when you won the contest? Oh, my Go- well, oh, my gosh, this is so exciting. Me and all my friends are going to get to go to Chicago.
[00:00:51] We're going to be able to watch a movie screening of The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, which had, um, a bunch of really great actresses in it. And so, like, how exciting, we get to go do this and, like, sit in the front row and meet Oprah and all the good stuff. So what year was this in? 2002. 2002?
[00:01:13] Yes. And I have to ask, like, how d- how did you actually... How did you actually get your essay in? Like, as a fellow writer, like- Yes ... how did you know to do that contest? Well, I, I watched Oprah every day. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I would pick my kids up from school. I don't know, maybe it was on at 3:00 or something like that, so I could get home, and if I wasn't able to get home and the kids had activities, I'd record it.
[00:01:36] I don't know, maybe it was, like, the VCR or some- whatever we used back then. Yeah, right? I'm not sure what we used, but I, I would watch it all the time. And she had this big thing called, um, Live Your Best Life, if anybody remembers that. Yeah. So I was like, I was all into that and, like, creating this beautiful home.
[00:01:54] It was called Clarity Farm and, you know, it was supposed to be clarifying out in the country and all that stuff, but the home ended up being all wrong for me. But anyway, I was w- watching the show and they said, "Okay, there's an essay contest." I had broken my back on this farm and I was stuck at home, and I always used to like to write, so I thought, "Oh, I'll just...
[00:02:14] I'm gonna... I, I'm, like, stuck here. I can't drive, I can't go any- I can barely walk, so why don't I just sit and try my hand at writing again? I used to love to do it." So that's how I found it. So, what was the essay about? Friendship. Friendship. It was about friends who help you out when you're in a tough spot.
[00:02:34] And were, what were you, what kind of experience were you drawing from? Was it, was it from your back? The, the broken back, 'cause I couldn't get my kids to school. I couldn't go to the grocery store. I literally was not supposed to ever walk again. So it was a long recovery, and, uh, my friends really had to step in and help me.
[00:02:52] And, like, not only that, but when they found out that I had gotten badly hurt, they all rushed to the hospital, like, you know, a group of them- Mm ... who we'd been friends a long time and are still friends. And, um, one of them even bust into the recovery room. Um, and that was part of the funny part of the story is that I was kind of just, like, waking up, and the room was dark.
[00:03:14] And there was a light through the door, and my friend had this funny, like... I- it's funny to me now, like, in my memory. Yeah. It was, like, a Cat in the Hat hat. It... She must not have done her hair that day, and she threw a hat on. Like a funny- Yeah ... like a fun hat. Like, it's cute on her. I couldn't pull it off.
[00:03:31] Yeah. So she opens the door, and there's, like, this light coming through, and I was like... And my, my sentence in the essay was it was either the Grim Re- Re- Reaper, like I had died, and and I was going to wherever, um, or it was the Cat in the Hat, which I always loved Dr. Seuss, you know, books. And so that was my thought in my stupor at the moment, is...
[00:03:52] And then as she got closer and I saw it was her Wow. That, like, that's such a beautiful moment in the story, and, um, you know, the way you described it there, you just, you, you brought me right to it. So I can, I can see why it was, it was a very powerful story. Especially, Oprah loves that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah.
[00:04:12] So, so h- how did- Symbolism and, and all that. But I was, yeah, like, I was really describing my memory from the moment, um, and tried to make it a little bit funny as well. Were you notified by, um, phone or email? I got a phone call. Okay. Yeah. It was on the other end. Julie Simpson was the producer, yeah. So she called me, or she or one of her assistants did, but at some point I spoke with her.
[00:04:36] And at first it was just to come up, and then I got a call a little bit later like, "Okay, we've decided we want to come interview you at your farm." Um, and then that's when I was like, "Okay." And I think I hung up like, "Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, I'm not ready." I was reading the book, and the book was about a woman who was, like, overwhelmed in her home, and I hadn't finished the book yet, and I was like, "What?"
[00:05:00] Like, I'm gonna be on... in front of millions of people, and I can't get my home ready, and I'm a mess 'cause I'm, like, barely walking. And, and then also the story's about a woman who's like, you know, um, unhappy in her home, which was the actual truth at the time. Yeah. And, um, I was like, "Oh, no, I can't do this."
[00:05:19] So did, did you, did you end up doing the interview, or did you just cancel it? No. I did not allow them to come and film at my house, no. Um, we went to Chicago still 'cause they were- Yeah ... so gracious about it. Yeah. And they, they, I g- I don't know, they just were like, "You had a great sto- you have a great story."
[00:05:37] But we did not sit in the front row. Another group of ladies sat in the front row who they went and filmed at her house, 'cause I said no. And so I sat there the whole time like, "Oh, my gosh, what have I done?" So I, I feel the weight of that. Yeah. I feel the weight of that. Um, I think, you know, that... I think we've all done the 10-second tidy and then looked around our house and been like-
[00:06:03] you know, when somebody's gonna come over and we feel like maybe they live in a better environment that we live in, and there's this automatic feeling of judgment- Right ... that I'm not, I'm not good enough. Yeah. And so there's, there's a space between thinking, "I am good enough" and then- Yes ... thinking, "I'm not good enough."
[00:06:25] And, and it seems like it's a disconnect there until- Yeah ... somebody else sees What we're in, you know? Right. Um- You know, I, I, I think the biggest thing was, like, my home was stunning. It really was beautiful. Yeah. Um, like Southern Living worthy with the four-board fencing, and the beautiful horses, and the, you know, the red barn, and the swimming pool, and the a- you know, like, wraparound porch, and just, you know, big old home in the country up on a hill.
[00:06:56] It was pretty, very, very pretty, um, environment, right? Yeah. Um, but I just ... I, I was, I was stuck in a place where I was examining my life because the doctor said, laid a hand on my legs and she said, "I don't know why you're going to walk again. You must have an angel on your shoulder." Wow. And I, I kind of, like, was...
[00:07:17] Like we all were in COVID, I was stuck in my home- Mm-hmm ... analyzing my life. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. We, we had a little conversation- And we all know how that went. Yeah, I do. We had a little conversation of that, uh, pre-show, right? Yeah. I, you know, I think, I think everybody wor- went through everything, and there's such a beautiful, um, there's such a beautiful synergy happens the deeper and deeper we get to know ourselves.
[00:07:41] Like there really- Yes ... so much, so much more than we give credit to to knowing ourselves versus knowing other things, you know, outside of ourselves. Right. Um, a lot of times we go searching for the answers, and a lot of the times the answers are, like, right here, you know? Right. We- but we're just too busy to see.
[00:08:01] Exactly. Take us back to the moment where you get home from Chicago and you realize everything that you could have had that didn't happen, and what was, what was your next step? You know, my ne- my first next step was to heal my back, because that did take about two years, and I think, um, I think I went to Chicago in, like, April or March or something like that.
[00:08:31] So it, it was only about three or four months into my healing, and then I was just like, "Okay, I'm gonna heal up. I'm on a mission to heal up for my kids, for me," and I am no longer riding horses. I'm gonna golf eventually like I used to. I took up yoga to heal. Like, I was like, "I'm going to fill myself up, and I'm going to heal, and I'm never going to- not shine again.
[00:08:59] Like I'm going, I'm going... I started journaling and writing- Mm-hmm ... and honing that craft and getting in touch with the real me, the, the me that I want to be- Yeah ... wanted to be. And so that was my next step is to not dull my light and to like heal as much as I could to be the best that I could be. Mm-hmm.
[00:09:17] So I was like, "I'm gonna live my best life even though I just told Oprah no." So what would you have done to your place to make it Oprah ready? Like, what did you- Well- ... what did you feel like was not ready? I really couldn't even get outside to see what the outside looked like. Mm. I, I literally couldn't get down the steps by myself.
[00:09:39] Okay. Okay. And so I was kind of stuck into... I couldn't get upstairs to see what the kids' rooms looked like. I had to have s- my laundry room was upstairs. I had to have somebody come help me do my laundry. It's like I just couldn't even function. Right. You know? To, like, what if they wanna do this? I can't even get over there, you know?
[00:09:57] Yeah. Right. Um- Yeah ... I just, it just was not... It was a lot of time with me in basically two rooms or three rooms thinking- Thinking ... and planning ahead, and evaluating how I'd been living my life. And so, like, that's just not primetime ready. Right? Yeah. Um, so, so then, so then you focused on healing. Yes. You focused on healing your body.
[00:10:23] Yes. But there must have been some, some internal healing- For sure ... which was through the journaling. When you think- Journaling and the yoga, which was- The yoga ... you know, introspective. Yeah, that's right. Uh-huh. You're in a, you're in a different, you're a different sense. You have to tune into, um, your body and everything.
[00:10:39] And your soul and who- Soul ... you know, how you're feeling. I love, like, I, I am, I'm such a nerd when it comes to energy exploration, yoga, reiki, um- Yes ... all, all kinds of things, um, that help us to explore our inner world. Mm-hmm. Um, I personally spent a ton of time helping people with their exterior- Mm ... um, working in fitness and health, and as a beauty advisor.
[00:11:07] It's all about the exterior, but all those conversations- Mm ... would always go deep, right? Yes. It was never, it was never something on the outside that was longing to have attention. It was always something screaming inside. Yes. Where, where I'm curious is, like, where, where did you... wh- where and when did you decide as a realtor, which you're, you're busy, right?
[00:11:32] Right. You have a business. You have a, a, a beautiful home that you're updating. When, when did you decide, "I'm gonna write a book"? 'Cause that's- ... that's a, that's not a small feat. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've always loved to write, and, uh, and I did p- I did put the writing piece on hold for, you know, gosh, almost 15 years because I wanted to ra- my children were young.
[00:11:57] I mean, one was in kindergarten, and the other was in second grade. And so, like, I wanted to raise them. I didn't wanna upset the apple cart. I needed to continue working in accounting in our family business just 'cause somebody had to do it, and that was- Yeah ... somebody was me, even though I had not been trained in accounting.
[00:12:15] And, um, I just kinda needed to finish that chapter and raise my kids, and then I felt like I could be the real me. But now, now along the way, I did also take an interior design, um- certificate designation at the Art Institute Yeah. Right So I did go outside of just this logical accounting to the creative side of me, and really nourished that- Yeah
[00:12:40] as I went along, and I, I investigated personality theory and- Yeah ... um, read all the books I could. Like, I really self-educated myself on my interests- Yes ... that were not accou- was not accounting- Yeah, yeah ... in my spare time. Okay. Mm-hmm. And then I made the big leap once my kids were in, like, in college. So was that, like- Before you wrote the book, you obviously developed this framework, this system- Right
[00:13:08] to help people find their best life within their best home. Right. In eight areas. With the, with the wheelhouse? Yes. Okay. Yes. So can you talk a little bit more about that? Um- Sure ... how, how we, how we're able to, um, bring out the best in ourselves- Mm-hmm ... when we, when we're in an environment that supports that.
[00:13:33] Like, how do you f- help people find that? Well, I, I think the first part, the, uh, my... The framework is shaped like a house, so the foundation is who are you, what gifts have you mastered. So it's myself, mastery, what gifts have you mastered; mission, what are you applying those gifts to; and mates- Mm-hmm ... have, who are you surround...
[00:13:54] Your partner, your friends, your, your close family. Who are you surrounding your with, yourself with that sees the real you and a- Yeah ... and helps you be that person, the best you you can be. Mm-hmm. And if that foundation is out of whack, we, uh, we have to start there. Who are you? Like, I'm an ENFP. I'm an Enneagram 7.
[00:14:14] I'm a manifestor generator, if I'm saying that. Oh, you're manifesting generator? Yes. I'm a projector. Okay, cool. So that is really cool. My husband's- ... a manifesting generator. Yeah. So- So, yeah. Yeah ... so it's... Anyways, I, I haven't looked up my Ennead, En, En... How do you say it? Enneagram? Yeah, I haven't looked that up.
[00:14:32] But my auntie, she's brought m- all of my cousins and, and, um, uh, aunties through that. So it's- Yeah ... it is something that I need to, to go and look up, I feel like, and, and see. Yeah, it's fascinating. It's just a- Yeah ... you know, it, it'll f- will pr- it's not the absolute truth, but it will provide- No ... insight into- Exactly
[00:14:52] who you are and what makes you happy. Yeah. So that's the first step, 'cause how do you know what makes you happy unless you know who you are and how you were made? Right, right. Yeah. And what gifts you have, because- We, we are speaking the same language there. Yes, yes. Yeah. So how do you know- Yeah, yeah ... how to, what your surroundings and your environment need to be, including the people, unless you actually know who you are?
[00:15:12] Because I was living as an accountant, introverted, non-creative- Wow ... horseback riding. I like my feet... I'm a very grounded person. Yes. I lo- I don't like my feet off the ground, whether it's, like, heights or, like, scuba diving, not for me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I like my feet on the ground. That's why I like yoga. I love to be grounded.
[00:15:34] Yeah. Yeah. I was on a horse. I fell off. I broke my back. I was not meant to be... I, I'm a very... I very much admire people who can horseback ride. Yeah. It is not a skill that I possess. Right. Okay. I- Yeah ... you know, that's a really, that's a really good insight. I'm very grounded too. Yes. My husband became a paragliding pilot.
[00:15:55] Yeah. And so a lot of times people ask me if, if I, if I, you know, will ever take it up, 'cause usually we've always had these activities together. He started- Right ... running and I started running. You know, we go through masterminds together. We do all- Yeah ... these things together, and people say, "Are you gonna paraglide?"
[00:16:11] Heck no. That's a hard no. Yeah. Well, first of all, I am not horribly mechanical. That's... I'm an ENFP. Look it up. Mm-hmm. It's Mark Twain, it's Robin Williams, it's Sandra Bullock, who was in that movie. It's, um- Yes ... it's like the people who tell stories. Yeah, yeah. However, we are not the people to fix a clock or, like, a car or anything like that.
[00:16:36] It's so fun to be validated. I would crash the hang gliding thing. That's so good. It's so fun to be validated. Yeah. And therefore the horse. Like, I mean, I'm a golfer- Yeah ... but I don't know, something's just different about the horse and just being up above ground. Yeah. I mean, I had full c- I have full control over yoga and, um, golf.
[00:16:57] Like, it's my body and only my body. I'm not relying on anything else, and that's how I do best. Yes. Yes. I think you and I are, are similar on that. Yes. That part. Um, I feel I, you know... And, and I'm 5'1" and I have size nine feet, and it's als- um, always my joke that- ... I should, like, I should really be able to balance well in tree and stuff.
[00:17:20] But, you know, it's super windy for me always. I'm like, Calamity Karen, here she comes. Anyway. I love that. Yeah, but you have to know these things about yourself- Yeah, yeah ... because, you know, then you know how to set up your environment, you know, around life change- Yes. Yeah ... or wanting life to change, and what does that look like?
[00:17:42] What kind of home environment is gonna support me to do that? So I recently, I recently... My husband and I, we, we've lived in our house for... We're gonna play a little exercise here. Yeah. We've lived in our house for, I think this is 21 years now. Okay. Um, we bought a, a bi-level with really good bones. We've done some updating along the years.
[00:18:07] Um, but we have this amazing lot. It's one of the last half acres in, in our city, like in city area. Mm-hmm. So we're close to the city, yet we're away. We're kind of raised up, so- Mm-hmm ... and behind us there's a five-acre parcel- Nice ... that's not developed. Mm-hmm. So we're very private, yet in town. Mm-hmm. And we have a beautiful overlook of the lake.
[00:18:33] Nice. So we love our place, but when I go away and I say, I stay at, like, you know, Airbnbs and everything is, like, decluttered, it has this different sense of energy that I just feel, um, it calm. Mm. I guess that's the word. Like, it's just this nice, calm, neat, creative. So my office space is our, our stepdaughter's old room.
[00:19:05] Mm-hmm. And, um, in the last year we've been doing not quite a Swedish death clean. Mm. Um, for listeners that don't know what that is, but it's making sure that you're not hanging on to stuff that nobody wants. Right. Yeah. So that your kids don't have to sort it out. Right. And so we've been, like, downsizing, preparing that one day we will, we will probably downsize, you know, once the dog is gone and, and it's just him and I.
[00:19:35] Um, which we are empty nesters now too. Mm-hmm. So in this last year, when I was doing one of my Reiki, um, certifications- Mm-hmm ... the teacher had... Raised my arm. I was in a demonstration. She raised my arm and she's like, "Karen, let go." And I, and I was, um, I'm like, "I did let go." And she's like, "No, you're still hanging on.
[00:19:57] Let go." And at the same time I was struggling with a back injury, calf injuries. Like, I've never had injuries in my life. Yeah. And the message I kept s- getting was that I was holding on. Mm. So I, I did... In the last year I've been doing, um, the art of letting go, right? Oh. And, and so decluttering. Decluttering my mind, decluttering my space- Mm-hmm
[00:20:23] and decluttering my body. I started going to hot yoga sessions- Yeah ... instead of just yoga, right? Yes. And so, and that, I mean, I've... I feel vibrant and young again. Not quite 30, maybe 40, but- Yes ... good. Yeah. I'm going in the right direction. So I'm looking around at my office now, and I managed to do half of it, but not the other half.
[00:20:48] Right. That's okay. And so I would I would love it if you would pretend I was a client, and, and, like, w- where would we start? And l- like, especially, you know, for other creatives, our writing friends, I'm looking for a space that I can just walk in and it just primes me to do the work in my writing. Right.
[00:21:10] And, and feel clutter-free. Yes. And as you know, we talked pre-show about- I, I really work two or three part-time jobs that- Yes ... take a full-time. Yeah. Yes, yes. And w- so, so okay, I have a couple of questions for you. Yes. So you, in your office there that you're in now, you do your podcasting, you probably do maybe some workshops and some coaching, I think.
[00:21:37] Anything else? Yes. Yeah, yeah. So I do, um, membership coaching for the Video Brand Academy. I do, um, one-to-ones. I do, I do writing, workshops, online course, you know, uh, recording podcasts Um, I do the CFO for our company, so I'm doing- Okay, so you're doing some bookwork. I'm doing some bookwork, yes. Yes. Um- That's a left-brained activity.
[00:22:04] Left-brain activities are, are reserved for Monday- Okay ... with, um, a Taylor Swift playlist. It's a... Monday's... Me too. Yeah. Monday's a great day for that. It's like the, the fun is over- Most- ... back to work. I, I have a Taylor Swift-ish playlist- Yeah ... for that. That's smart. I might need to do that. Music, right? Like, it's just, it's just music that it-
[00:22:23] it can have words. When I'm writing- Yeah ... I need music without words. Me too. Yeah. Anyway. Me too. Yeah. And then you're editing. You're, you're... You sometimes do some video editing. Where do you do that? There? I do that right here. Okay. Everything is, everything is done. However, I do now have a laptop that I, I've always ha- in my brain said, "I can go on the deck.
[00:22:43] I can go in the backyard. I can go-" Okay ... "in the kitchen." Oh, this is perfect. But I don't utilize it 'cause- Okay ... I just don't do it. You know why? I think. Mm. Okay. I think. Yeah. You remember you mentioned that beautiful lake view- Yes ... and you have all the green space outside. Yes. Um, I feel like your brain feels like you have to be working in the left side of your head when you're in that room.
[00:23:06] I think that the... Do you have somewhere else that you could write, like, that has the view of the lake? Oh, yes. Or- I could just go out to my kitchen table or, um- That's where you need to write. That room that you're in right now is, you associate it, and it's probably set up for all of your left-brain work, and you feel like you have to do, do, do, and there's something that's catching your eye in that room that is causing you to not move into the right side of your brain.
[00:23:35] You need to be near nature. A water view, for me personally- Yeah ... helps me write. Interesting. I actually travel to be near water, um, 'cause I'm not near water in my home. I took many trips to write my book, so I was near a lake or an ocean or something. Yes. And I walk near a stream- Okay ... 'cause I get my ideas that way.
[00:23:56] So nature, water. I do walk every day in nature, like it's just like- Yes ... I, yeah. Well, I, I'm in- But- ... the process of book, uh, of a book. Yes. It's nearly done. It's, it's going to be called Walking on Purpose. Oh, I love that. Yeah. It's, it's, um, I just recently w- I'm trying to walk more because I've been very busy at work.
[00:24:18] Um, and- It, it happens that way, right? It does, but w- that's what my creativity comes out, when I'm in nature, near water. Where things are green, nature sounds, but your room there is probably set up for the things you need to do- Yeah ... that are deadline oriented, and it's not like free space, free thinking that you need to write.
[00:24:39] So that is not a good place for you to write. Interesting. Use, use a different part of your home. That's really, really interesting. I love that insight. Yeah. Thank you. I will, I will experiment with that. I'm- Do. So are you, are you... Like, in your, in your human design, you said you're a manifesting generator.
[00:24:56] Is your environment a water type? I'm a wide valley, so it makes sense for me to look- You know, it's funny 'cause it, in my, in my- I don't know what you call the, what the... I'm a manifesting generator- Yeah ... but it says I should live in a valley, which is interesting. Yeah, so the wi- yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I, I've also heard lots of stuff with- But a nar- I think it's a narrow valley.
[00:25:18] Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I think. Interesting. It, it's a valley anyway. I love that. And the funny thing is my favorite place in my house- Mm-hmm ... never thought about this till I read my thing again, 'cause I, I was like, "I wonder what..." You know, where it says I'm supposed to live, right? Yeah, yeah. Um, my backyard i- it's flat, and then it goes up, so like we have terraced levels.
[00:25:39] It's almost like a valley coming... Like, my house is in a valley from the backyard- Wow ... that's beautiful. Every morning, without fail, I sit in my husband's big chair 'cause he, he's not up yet, and I watch the birds. I had a huge buck back there recently, and like, I just literally pull the cushions off the couch so I can see that wall going up.
[00:26:03] Yeah. It's not a wall, but it's like a, it's like a hill. Yeah. Terraced hill with vege- like pretty roses, and bird feeders, and like there's chipmunks that live in the little stone, rocks and everything. Mm-hmm. I just sit there, and I watch it, and I'm like, "That's my happy place." And l- lo and behold, it's kinda like a little valley.
[00:26:20] Wow, I love that. Yeah. It... Isn't it, isn't it, isn't that cool, though? Like, I, I don't know. I ner- I can nerd out on that stuff for- ... hours. Hours. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So, so the, the... What, what about if... Okay, so I'm, I'm thinking about changing that one number one habit, but what I'm clinging to is that when, when I finally wrote my first book- Mm-hmm
[00:26:48] I did it in, um... I got it written and self-published within 90 days, and I did it in this office. Mm-hmm. But I did it in... I spent one, the first hour of my day every morning, it was about 5:30 AM to about 7:00 AM- Mm-hmm ... working on the project diligently, and I have never been able to get back to that place in this room.
[00:27:15] Hmm. Um, and that was in 2021. Yeah. I recently pulled both of my books off of the Amazon shelf because, because I, I realized that, um, once I publish my, which would be my third book, um, people are gonna want a back list. And I'm like, I, I want my own ISBN. Mm-hmm. I used, um, Amazon ISBN. Mm-hmm. So I've pulled them off the shelf, so now I'm sitting with- four unfinished books That, that I really need to get through, you know, the editing and refurbishing process.
[00:27:55] Mm. And I'm really struggling with that, um... Well, maybe the edit- editing and refurbishing would be great- Yeah ... for your room there 'cause, A- Yeah ... it's where you started the book and finished the book, but now you're editing it. Yeah. And editing is not a free-thinking kind of thing, 'cause they tell you to write- Yeah
[00:28:14] and write and write but, but go back later and edit. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's... Yeah. So the editing I think is fine for in there, but the free thinking maybe may... Just try a couple of different areas. Um- Yeah. I'm going to do that, yes. I, 'cause I always- What's out your... What's the view out your window back- Yeah
[00:28:29] behind you? What's behind my window? I'll show you. Yeah. It's, it's actually... It's trees. Trees. It kind of puts the lighting off, so- Yeah, yeah ... the backyard, there's the neighbors, the squirrels and stuff go in it. Yeah. Um, and, uh, so, you know, I... At times I've had my desk oriented that way. Did you have your desk oriented that way when you wrote the book?
[00:28:54] That's a great- I think I did. I think I did I think if you at least had some of that natural light coming in- Yeah ... it would be helpful. Yeah, for sure. As opposed to having it to your back. B- when you're writing, not for p- I know, 'cause I'm- Yeah ... I, my windows are over there. I have this beautiful view of a garden.
[00:29:14] Right. Yeah. But that's not what this room's for. So I've set up- Unless I have a writing space over there ... I set up this desk behind me and a computer- Yeah ... chair facing there. I haven't used it yet. This is full disclosure. Okay, maybe that would work. Maybe that would work. Just a little more nature- Yeah.
[00:29:30] Yeah, yeah ... in your, in your... Even if it's peripheral, I just think a little more nature would help you. W- but I do, I'm, I am going to adopt what you said though too, and do some of my, my right brain out in different areas of the house. Because honestly, it's just my husband and I here. He has an office downstairs, I have an office up here.
[00:29:52] Yeah. And the dog that goes crazy when we have deliveries. But other than that, there's, there's no reason why I can't use more of this space. Right. Yeah. So thank you for that. Yeah. Of course. Yes. I hope it helps. I want to know if it helps. And it might be something different, and you might find a different spot in your house.
[00:30:10] But- Yeah ... um, y- that, your r- room there perhaps has, has shifted to more of a left brain feel. Yeah. Um, and maybe you need another space in your home. A corner with a chair, a cozy chair, and like a, a Sit-stand desk that has- Yeah ... a window with a view, but you're not necessarily wanna be distracted by the view, but you just wanna know this is a little more spacious than your left-brain room.
[00:30:36] Yeah. Mm-hmm. I love it. Yeah. So this is the kind of stuff that you do. Um, like, what, w- in, in, in your book, do you describe this kind of thing, like, for, for a reader? You know- Or- ... not on this micro level- Yeah ... because you really have to be with the person- Yeah, absolutely ... to ask them questions. Like, so the book's hard that way, 'cause I can't...
[00:30:55] You know, there are success stories in each chapter, in each section of the eight areas of the wheel. Yeah. And so each one has, you know, um, I think romance was, you know, just several reasons why this, um, person had to move to, like, Colorado. Just- Yeah ... like, the environment wasn't fitting her. Uh, her ex-husband and his girlfriend, that she would bump into them out in the town, and et cetera.
[00:31:19] Just the way her home didn't fit for that particular area. So it's more of a macro level- Yes ... of why the home didn't work. S- but there are lots of examples of, like, I have to be with someone to really dig into their specific... And, like, visual, visually see the space to do this. Okay. Yeah. Well, that makes sense.
[00:31:40] I mean- Yes ... we, because we- I almost said, "Hey, turn your camera around and let me see." But- No, you don't wanna see the rest of it. No. You don't wanna see mine either. That's, that's so bad. It's pretty over there, but I have- No, we have this, we have this one corner of the house that's ready for viewing. The rest is definitely not Oprah- Yeah
[00:31:57] approved. Yeah, I have, I'm a creative But- I have sta- I have stacks of journals and- Yes ... car- cards I'm gonna write people, and you know. If you're a creative and you put things away, they s- they cease to exist. I love that. So they remain out- Yeah ... until you finish them. And that, you know, that's, that's been, that's been what I've been processing this year, is that, uh, you know, I, I came to all of this...
[00:32:21] As I was creating space, more ideas come flooding in. Okay. And I am an ideas person. Yes. So I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't need to keep all of them. Right. I can give my ideas away. Yes. And I can help other people flourish their ideas, and that's essentially what I, what I do when I'm working with people, is that they have an idea, and I help them decide which one to run with first.
[00:32:49] Because it doesn't- Yes ... mean that all of those have to stay. It drives me nuts when people wanna know your niche. I've never been able to fit into one. Right. And so a lotta times I think that that blocks people from, um, from their creativity As is- You don't have to be just one thing. Uh, yeah. Yeah. And so what I love about what you talk about is you have eight different sections, and they speak
[00:33:16] Is, it's eight, right? That's right. In, in the wheelhouse, and they speak to different parts of our soul. So- That's right ... when, when do we know to, like it's time to just be in a new house? When do we know we're holding on too long that's beyond renovation- Yeah ... that it's, it's just time to create a new space?
[00:33:40] You- I just- You used the example of your friend being in the w- wrong environment because of an ex and stuff, but- Yes ... how else have you seen that work? Well, you know, so really the way you know, it's... The subtitle of the book is An Empowering Guide to Stay, Go, or Reno- Renovate. Yeah. So you know it's time to go when you do that wheel and you have a flat tire.
[00:34:03] Yeah. So you either have a couple of areas that are a one out of 10 or a two out of 10, or it's just like the whole wheel is just small- Mm-hmm ... and it's just kind of bumping along. But if you have a mostly inflated tire wheel around everything, then you could probably stay in your home, but you're fixing something that gets down into like a physiological problem.
[00:34:25] Um- Yes ... like I cannot sleep at night because there are sirens, so that's a low score in the health area. Uh- Right. Yeah ... if, if you're losing sleep every night 'cause there's sirens or you have a noisy neighbor or people are clunking around or someone's playing music and you're in a, like a high-rise condo- Yeah
[00:34:42] perhaps it's time. And you, you have... You're getting married, you're gonna have some kids, and like that's also... Like there's many reasons why you might want to move. And so, you know, that's just like case in point is, gosh, we loved this lifestyle when we were in our 20s and we, we, we're near work and we met at work and we were really focused on our career.
[00:35:03] We moved in together. We got married. Now we're about to have children. Our whole lives are about to change. We wanna get a dog. We need a yard. Yeah. And so it is time because, like, so like family and friends is low. You got a, you got a two 'cause you have a one-bedroom condo. Where's the baby gonna go? Yeah.
[00:35:20] That's like a one- Yeah ... out of 10. That's low, yeah. And like you wanna get a dog. There's no yard. The dog's gonna go tee-tee in the elevator, you know? Yeah. So like that's- Yeah ... a one out of 10. That's a, that's a flat tire- Yeah ... right there. But then like, um, finance, like you have dual income now. You can afford much more than the condo, you know?
[00:35:39] Yeah. So making up numbers, the condo's a $300,000 condo, but now you qualify for 800,000. Yeah. That's a house in the suburbs in a good school district with a yard for the dog and four bedrooms. Yeah, that's right. And so that's, that's... so like that wheel now when you get in that scenario with the good schools and the backyard and the four bedrooms and then, you know, maybe mom's gonna work from home and it has an extra bedroom for that, that we can turn into an office, that little wheel expands into living in your wheel house.
[00:36:10] Do you find that people are, are reluctant to make the move? Like, do you find that they- No. No? They're just like, "Okay, sign me up." Uh, uh, sorry. Some- Some people are. Yeah, yeah. I met with some folks this morning. They have three homes. Yes. And, um, the reason they're reluctant is they're older. Yeah. And they don't...
[00:36:31] They need to move to a different state to be near family 'cause they're older. Yes. And they're healthy now, which is, uh, people, please move while you're healthy. Yeah. Moving while you're not healthy is, will make you- Yeah ... sicker. Yeah, for sure. Um, so that's just my note, just I've been there. Like, I just, I hate that for people, that they struggle- Yeah
[00:36:49] with the move when they can't just physically do it. But these gr- But- These folks are great. Yeah. But- Yeah ... like, they're hesitant to move not because it's not the best thing for them be- but because it's like they're giving up their... They know they're about to give up some independence. Right. Yeah. So but, like, young people- Right
[00:37:05] or younger or midlife people, um, sometimes it's a forced move, like a career change or a divorce. Yeah. That's not easy. But oftentimes it's like, "I'm so excited to move to a bigger house, or one with a pool, or- Yeah ... one with a basement where our boomerang child, you know, that came back after college- ... um, can live and save up money for their own space."
[00:37:30] Yeah. And you know. But it's a lot- Or the grandchildren can come, and we can have a bunk room. It's, it's a little bit of everything. It depends on the pers- on the person. Yeah. That's, it's, it's about where, where you are right now. Yes. So, like, right now we, we need the space because we have the dog. Yeah. But we have an elderly dog, so we're, we're thinking longer term.
[00:37:50] I mentioned my husband's a paragliding pilot- Um, I'm not sure if I mentioned that on the pre-show or in this conversation, but that's okay Yes But anyways You did. You mentioned that. Thank you. So w- I've always visioned, like, a safe place for him to land. We're, we're a little ways away from any of the launch sites- Yes
[00:38:13] so it's kind of like a day commitment. But I, I envision him being well, able to just take off and land in our yard, which means- Yes ... we have to move, but I don't wanna put the dog through the move. And right now we're not good at friends and family because our dog doesn't really like new people in the house.
[00:38:31] Yes. So it's also my vision in our, in our next home, in our next life, that we're, we're not going to have a dog also 'cause my husband is highly allergic. Mm. Came allergic with her. Um, so it's, it's... You know, we discussed the options and we're like, "No way, we already rescued her." Right. But anyways, that's a whole other episode.
[00:38:52] But these are all considerations about- Yeah ... your environment. So, like- Yeah ... so that is fun and leisure. Although he's an instructor, so it's a little... You know, his career as well. Yeah. Um, so that's a career. Well, he's a, he's a systems ecologist, so that is- Yes ... um, his- But so he does that kind of on the side, but that's kind of...
[00:39:11] You know what I mean? His- Is that- ... his paragliding, um, I would say it's part of his work because- Yes ... it's really, it really helps him explain- Yes ... things in common words. Oh, neat. So he uses paragliding a lot- As an e- ... of times as an analogy in his speeches That's wonderful. Yeah. Okay, so it's like... So, and sometimes when I say career, like, many people volunteer or they don't actually- Yeah
[00:39:34] get paid for their passion. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so I include, like, car- so that's a career. Fun and leisure, 'cause he also enjoys it, so that's- Yeah ... what he likes to do. Yeah. And environment, you can't y- land in your backyard now, and it's also not close to his launch pads. Yeah. And friends and family move.
[00:39:51] So there are four areas you just spoke about that potentially you could fix with a move. Oh, yeah. For sure. Mm-hmm. For sure. So that's why, like, it's the art of the declutter because I, I say to my husband, I've said, you know, "If nothing else, we're preparing to downsize," you know? Right. Um, and I... Reluctant, we talked about creative and having stacks everywhere, but there's, like, a tower over here with about 15 years of unused materials- Oh my gosh
[00:40:22] that he needs to go through. Like, "Should I stay or should I go? Is this..." Yes. You know what I mean? And- It's like Marie Kondo meets Tony Robbins. I love it. Yeah. Okay. So anyways, okay, back on track. I, I feel like we could have lots of great conversations, Kim. Yes. Um, but I just... Let's, let's wrap a little bit about, um- Leaving listeners with a doable action.
[00:40:50] Sure. So, uh, what... If somebody is listening in now and they identify with the fact, oh, okay, um, my creativity, all I need is a better environment and it's gonna unlock more, or... And number one, uh, a little tidbit of why. Why would, why would I want to go through the effort? And if they're still listening at this time, if you're still listening, obviously this has intrigued you.
[00:41:15] So two, you might already know why, but w- why is this important, and what is the first step? Well, it's important because If you want to be in flow with what you're passionate about, you have to create an environment that enables you, that doesn't block you from doing that, and supports you to do that. Yeah.
[00:41:36] And so it could just be a corner, or it could be that when you walk in your house, the first thing that catches your eye is a piece of furniture you hate, or that brings- Yeah ... like, I, that, "Grandma gave that to me, but for whatever reason, it, I've," you know, bad feelings or memories or whatever- Yeah ... about it, "but I feel like I should keep it."
[00:41:58] Yeah. Well, why not take that little corner cabinet and instead make a drafting table? Yeah. Or, um, move, you know, move out stuff in a corner or, um, a piece, a part of a room to make your podcasting studio. Yeah. Or a place you can write that is cluttered right now, but clean it out and make, you know, get a standing desk, and if your health is low, get the, get a little walking treadmill that opens up and you, you're kind of getting more energy too.
[00:42:29] So like- Yeah ... couple of little things in your home that are bothering you and you're not doing something you want to do, clear that stuff out- Yeah ... and make a space for something you've been wanting to do, or something you used to like to do when you were younger. Yeah. I love that. I love that. And one, one of the things I, that I always love to say, it's true, nobody's gonna do it for you.
[00:42:53] That's right. My dad, my dad would always say is, like, "If you don't like your environment, you're, you're, guess what? You get to be the one that change it." Yeah. And then he would say, "But if you wanna get another job, don't quit until you have one." That's right. And then he would follow that up. I think every parent has always said that.
[00:43:13] Yeah. That's right. Um, okay. So I, this has been, this has been amazing, and like I said, I, feel like we could talk for hours,
[00:43:21] and we've talked about environment before on the podcast, I really think that, um, listeners could, should get your book as well too, because it, it weaves everything together.
[00:43:32] And sometimes we feel like we're doing all the right things to be in our healthiest mind, in our healthiest body, um, in, in our healthiest environment. But s- hearing it and seeing it in a different angle- it, it, it really, it really helps us pull out more, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, and, and what like we've been talking about, the more you know yourself, the m- more you empower yourself.
[00:43:57] Right. And so where, where can people, uh, find you? Um, I'll m- I'll make sure that all your, all your links are below, but where would you like people to go if they could learn more from you today? Where- Yeah ... where would you invite them? Sure. So first thing is anything that's going on with me, you'll see on social media.
[00:44:18] Um, Kim E. Costa. And then my website where you can sign up for a workshop, get the book, l- um, look at some of my blogs, et cetera, is lifestylefoundations.com. Awesome. I will make... I'll make sure all those links are below. And is there anything that we didn't cover today that you're just, like, dying to let out?
[00:44:42] You know, the only thing is I, you know, I know the, um, the subtitle to my book is, uh, An Empowering Guide to Stay, Go or Reno. So I don't want people to be scared that, "Oh my gosh, she's a realtor. She thinks I should move." No. Mm-hmm. I think that you can s- if your home is amazing, like the location, the layout, you know, you can't fix those things by moving, but what are you doing in the spaces in the home?
[00:45:08] Like, what's aggravating you? It's not that you have to change everything, just change one thing that helps you be more joyful and more authentic. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much, Kim. That's a really, that's a really good way to, um, wrap it up. It doesn't have to be hard. And I also love that you, um, talked about how just because you're a realtor doesn't mean you're gonna be pushing people to move.
[00:45:34] Yeah. I... y- you know on this show we don't like- I want you to be happy. We don't, we don't associate with labels. We associate with story, connection, and, um, it's not about, you know, what the outside world wants to identify as. It's about how, how we talk about and have these conversations. So I really appreciate you saying that, too.
[00:45:56] Um- Well, thank you. I appreciate- Thank you so much for being on the show. And, um, yeah. And thanks for listening, everyone, and we'll see you next time. Bye.
