Priorities and How to Avoid hitting the wallDec 22, 2018
Part 1 of 2
I asked myself...is this it?? What now?? Why did I bother?? This was all for nothing, and now I can’t go back.
The moment that I hit the wall is not something that I’m proud of, nor something that I talk about much.
The year I took a course on goal setting because I wanted to move the needle on my business my life fundamentally changed. I learned the value of setting goals, and taking those big scary goals and picking them off one at a time by carving them down into teeny tiny little tasks.
I worked daily at my “real job” and at night I was building my online business.. And .let’s face it every time I could sneak it in.
I was building a business, an exit strategy so that I could leave my retail job and spend more time with my kids and I had become quite successful...on paper…So I did it!! I left my retail job and my husband and I launched our Company.
We both, although very different lines of work now had the flexibility to create our own schedule to be with the kids more...only something was missing...the kids. That was their graduating year, and they both left home shortly thereafter
All the other stuff I really wanted in my life to celebrate the success I built side hustling was way out in the distance somewhere….The reason why I was doing everything I was doing was gone.
I began to get mad at myself. All that time… I wasted it…
I started to recall all the times I’d get mad at them…”not now...I’m working”...what did I miss out on??
How did I let this happen? I asked myself...is this it?? What now?? Why did I bother?? This was all for nothing, and now I can’t go back.
What will people think of me if I quit?
I proclaimed this was my calling...what I was meant to do..they will all say “I told you so” when everyone sees me fail.
Not sure who I thought “everyone” was at the time.
But really, let’s take a step back... how did this happen? I failed to take the extra time to be certain that my personal priorities matched both my vision and my goals.
Well, it goes way back to my core beliefs, self confidence and natural intuitive behaviors towards limiting beliefs..
I thought, as a people pleaser, that if I wasn’t saying yes to everything, I was letting opportunities slip away…
If I don’t open that email, or respond on the weekend, puncture my boundaries I set, then that person would go elsewhere and I would miss the sale.
I didn’t believe I was worth the wait
Wow!! That’s alot and we won’t be covering all of that today
How the heck do we know what goals to go for?? I mean really...I know my priorities...why do I need to study them??
If you want to see your past, look at your present life
conditions. If you want to see your future, look at the actions you're taking today!
The former people pleaser in me would rather be checking off lists, and doing tasks than taking time in the planning chair. For some reason I just avoid, skip over, or agonize about this part because I feel like it’s time I should be spending DOING stuff.
In reality, this exercise will save you hours of uncertainty, hours of time taking shiny twists and turns...You may have to mantra it daily...haha just kidding...but really trust me ...dig in
‘Without a clear focus on our guiding values and priorities,
each of us runs a real risk of successfully climbing a very
long ladder only to find it leaning against the wrong wall.’
This is why our core priorities are worth regular consideration, repeatedly, and any time we’re about to devote time and energy to a new given pursuit.
Areas of Importance: There are certain areas in life that are important for all of us.
Go ahead ask anyone ..what are your top 3 priorities, and what will probably come out of them is
The missing link is that these grow and change as you develop AND it’s not specific enough..I know, we’ve just started and I’m making you dig in
You may be familiar with this exercise. I certainly did not create it .But I now habitually revisit it seasonally. I “feel” when I’m off. It’s incredibly uncomfortable. Imbalance to me feels quite smothering actually.
I promise once you “get “ this, you won’t feel indecisive, you won’t feel like a leaf blowing in the wind. You will make choices easily because you will know if it’s right for you.You will be able to make goals that make you happy.
Step 1 )
Rate the following subjects from 1-10 on how you feel you are where you want to be in this area, or how happy you are.
Career & Education
Money & Personal Finances
Recreation & Leisure
Now the ones that you scored the least on...It’s time to dig in.
If you scored low because it’s not important to you fine, but if it’s low and you want it to improve ..What part??
What would a state of harmony look like
What does a 10 look like?
When I did this exercise my priority desire was to spend more time with my kids, by growing our financial income in my “side hustle”
The problem was, the goals I set for myself, and the actions I took were only connected to the financial priority.
I could have taken different actions had I listened to my mentors words… “Check your actions with your priorities often.”
Write them down ,, revisit often.
I lost my way , and got in my way because I thought I would waste time in planning...then my reason slipped and at that moment, I knew I had to help other mothers avoid that...to spend just a little more time in this area BEFORE making resolutions and setting goals.
The same year I ran a marathon, even though it was against many odds, I also became really good at understanding how to marathon a plan so that you can really celebrate the time with those you love while you cross the line that marks your goal.
10 years ago the vision of what I do now was there..
I wasn’t sure how it would happen at the time...and as we get to know more about each other, we will share more stories of triumph & turmoil, but for now dig deep.
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There’s also a spot for Your suggestions on show topics.
Tune into part 2 AFTER you have your top 3 defined
Until next time
Talk soon and thanks for hanging out with me :)